Building the Bridge of Resilience

“Don’t worry, I brought my passport”, I said to myself when I passed the cattle guard leaving the reservation. I grew up in a bordertown located just an hour and a half from my homeland. Hearing the common joke of “leaving the country”, reminds me of my days with my uncles on the reservation and my native friends laughing about leaving the rez to go to town. It makes me chuckle because when I use this term with my non-native friends, some think I am actually leaving the country but in reality it is just a saying some say when you leave the city to go back to the reservation or vice versa. I grew up with the privilege of living and commuting on and off the reservation. On the weekdays, I would be in town and on the weekends, I would be back on the reservation. I got the best of both worlds living the traditional Navajo way and the contemporary lifestyle in town. Some days, I was left confused and felt like I was “different” because I had to constantly explain to my friends, teachers, and other acquaintances of social norms or phrases. My mother reassured me that I was not “different” and that people were curious and sometimes their curiosity may come off as offensive or as a nuisance. She taught me how to explain my culture and my identity to folks and I saw no issue with that. I am happy to explain today but I proceed with care, caution, and compassion. 

Growing up, I also moved around a lot which meant almost every year I was transferring to a new elementary or middle school. I had to learn how to get out of my shell including introducing myself, coping with school work and reading, and relying on my traditional identity. When my mom decided to move us to the reservation for a couple of years, I was excited since I would see my great grandma and I could play in the dirt plots near the wash. “YES!”, I said to myself. However, when I moved, I was bullied a lot. This was the first time I was labeled and picked on for my appearance, accent, and hobbies. I thought to myself how this could happen to me, especially knowing that many of these kids were of kinship. I was hurt but managed. When I had the opportunity to go back to town, I was transferred again. This time, I was bullied because I was from the reservation. It was a confusing time as a kid. It taught me that not only would I not be everyone’s cup of tea but there was this common theme of being picked on for my appearance, accent, and traditional identity. 

As I continued my education and pursued my undergraduate degree, there was still this passivism within the community that made it relatively uncomfortable, including the actions of naming people being “native” or “not native” enough. It was frustrating. It has happened to many other folks at school and in the workplace. In one group, I was too modern for my native group and in the other, I was too “native” for my non-native group. It was tiring and isolating. I struggled a lot with my identity. I also struggled with the concept of wanting to fit in. I hated the fact that I felt compartmentalized and silenced. Balancing both the contemporary world and the traditional world was difficult. It was really hard to cope especially knowing that there was not a lot native representation in college or in professional settings at the time. 

When I landed my first job, microaggressions were becoming even more common. Some stated that I landed my job due to the color of my skin and there was a need to fill the diversity quota. They denied the fact that I landed my job due to previous experience and expertise within the field. I was hurt that they did not understand my merit. However, I understood mine. This was one of the first beginnings where I had to learn to find ways to get strength to speak up.

In college, I felt like I lost my voice and interests. I felt like an imposter. Mostly, I felt like I lost and hid my cultural identity to make others happy or comfortable. A few things I did to overcome this was to build resilience by accepting who I was through self-affirmations. I started off by writing 5 sentences that I felt were safe and I thought were true to myself. I told myself every day the following:

I am Alyssa. I identify as a Diné woman. I come from a lineage of strong leaders who are mentors, educators, health advocates, and healers. I am a mentor, educator, advocate, and healer. I am enough. I give myself permission to be a Diné woman. 

A few other things I did to build resilience/strength included:

  • Incorporating indigenous foods and teas into my daily routine
  • Exercising
  • Volunteering with folks who may also be feeling the same way I was feeling
  • Getting involved in professional groups with an aim at encouraging youth and young adults to embrace their identity
  • Making time to go back to my homelands
  • Integrating plant medicines and holistic practices 
  • Practicing and spoke my native tongue
  • Listening to traditional music, local news, and learned new policies that my affect my community
  • Practicing cultural and spiritual upbringings
  • Meditating on my purpose including strengths and areas I want to strengthen
  • Advocating and got involved with social movements
  • Teaching my younger relatives traditional and cultural practices
  • Listening to elders and learning from their stories
  • Giving daily gratitude and providing offerings to the earth
  • Remembering my cultural history and heritage in a broader context

Building resilience is multifaceted. It is intricately weaved with social, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects to which we must consider. There are more dimensions that we could include such as environmental or intellectual wellness. As a pre-medical student right now, I know that when I was starting out as a pre-med kid, it was lonely. Thankfully with the help of mentors, friends, and family, I was able to build some strength. I still continue to do the activities listed above, too, which I feel has also helped me cope with fighting imposter syndrome, coping with microaggressions, and learning to find my voice. A few resources that I also turn to are listed below which I hope can be of a resource to you:

Alyssa Little

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