In January 2022, while working full time and going to school full time, I decided it was time to re-evaluate my situation. Since graduating from college back in 2018, I immediately started working full time at a great job. I was learning so much in the field and I loved every minute of it. While working full time, I hardly took breaks and when I did it was mostly for catching up on appointments, household work, or quick meet ups with my family. After three consecutive years of doing this, I felt like I was on auto-pilot. Although my job was pretty awesome, when the pandemic struck my tribe and after having had experiences with the Indian Health Service facilities, I wanted to find ways I could help contribute to my community. I saw no other profession I wanted to be part of except being a physician. Immediately, I decided I wanted to go back to school. So, I did and did it full time. It was August 2020. My devotion to completing my prerequisites was strong and it continues to be the case. I completed fall, spring, summer, and winter sessions in a consecutive manner.

Fast forward to January 2020, I was feeling a lot of pressure. I wanted to have a “win” for myself, so I applied for a better promotion with work. I did not get it. I felt awful. So, the next move was to take a test that would advance me. I took it but I missed the mark by a point. That was a hard pill to swallow. After much contemplation and weighing the risks and benefits, I decided to take a leap of faith and quit my job of three years. It was my very first job straight out of college. It was scary but I decided to focus solely on my goal of applying to medical school. This idea inspired me.

In this new chapter, I attempted to tackle the beast— the MCAT—while going to school full time. I was also working on a paper with my team while simultaneously securing volunteering opportunities. I was overworked. I took the MCAT and failed. I felt like I needed a win. Finally in April, our teams paper was published. I finally felt like things were aligning. In April, I applied to a bridge program that would help me get into medical school. I was excited and I felt prepared. The semester ended in May and I realized that I got a D in physics. My heart was shattered. Immediately, I decided that I needed to retake physics and the MCAT. I felt rushed and unprepared.

My summer semester started in June for a 5 week physics class. During this time, I received notice that I was not accepted into the bridge program. It felt bitter. Yet, I continued to trek on my journey. 5 weeks passed and I passed physics. I needed to take my next physics class and decided to push through. Meanwhile, I scheduled my MCAT during the summer. I forgot to cancel it. At this moment, I was so overworked and overwhelmed. I decided not to go. Not going left me feeling like a huge failure. I wanted to quit. But, I continued to push through and in 2 days, I will have completed my second physics class with a great passing grade. This also concludes my post-baccalaureate educational journey. After 2 years of taking only science heavy classes, I did it. I’m proud of myself.

To reflect, I decided that while my journey has not ended, I made the decision to postpone my application until next cycle. After I finish my physics class, I am going to take a break from school, work, and volunteering for a few months. I’m going to rediscover myself, find my hobbies again, and live. Here’s my upcoming goals before the next cycle:

◦ Continue working with my team on writing a paper

◦ Get updated clinical experience

◦ Network online with medical students

◦ Study full time on the MCAT

◦ Focus on my application prompts for next cycle

◦ Reconnect with my culture, hobbies, and family

I plan to find balance and take a break. After four hardworking years of pushing myself and being hard on myself, I think I deserve a break. I’m going to honor that. My goal of becoming Dr. Little is still there and it has never been so eager to explore the depths of medicine. I’ll always consider myself a lifelong learner but this girl needs a brief moment to reconnect with Mother Earth and the Creator. I plan to write more and gain the strength I need to be the healer my community needs. Until then, thank you for sticking around. I’m always here. I’ll talk to you soon.

Your non-traditional pre-med,

Alyssa ❤️